Love: A Brief Flash Or A Fire That Never Goes Out?
“Love at first sight” is much talked about, the sudden, unexplainable feeling of an immense attraction to another whom one meets for the first time. Then there is also the other type; you’ve known and been around someone for months and years, without feeling any attraction towards them, before. Then one day, suddenly, BAM, a180 degree change in your feelings, just like the “love at first sight” type of emotions. In both such cases, there are moments that the partners experience a feeling of unprecedented, ultimate happiness, a feeling that brightens the routine with a flare of light. We are excited that such feelings are possible and, indeed, exist in us.
Except for calling it “chemistry”, we really don’t know why it happens. However, without the necessary attention from our side, sooner or later, after days, weeks or months, the intoxicating feelings of “love” disappear to wherever they came from, and the “delusion” vanishes.
Kabbalah explains that such feeling of love comes from nature so that we will approach each other to develop a particular connection between us called a “family”. Without these moments, like animals, we would continue to get closer to each other according to the “calendar”, our hormones, and then move away, again according to the orders of our inner essence. But, since we are humans, we have to preserve our relationships for years, and hence nature provides us with an example of how we can do this. It shows us how to prolong this fire of unification and integration so that it will become fascinating, will intoxicate us, and will not let us leave, so that it will compel us to think about our partners all the time. On the one hand, it streams life into us, and on the other, it doesn’t let us turn toward anything else. It fills our emotion and takes away our mind.
The wisdom of Kabbalah teaches that as human beings, we must not merely rely on spontaneous, accidental and uncontrollable surges. We don’t wait for chance flashes from unknown sources, rather we “run the business” ourselves. We need to learn how to capture those loving moments of unification, how to prolong the magic, to strengthen it, and to develop it through the mind. Kabbalah explains that we can and must learn how to attain a feeling that we experienced specifically with the help of our mind. By balancing the feelings through the trained mind, we won’t lose our head but will be able to live with it for years by developing and managing it. By becoming included into one another, my partner and I won’t lose our ability to speak about the multitude of emotions, but rather, we will be able to share our impressions and experiences, measure and discuss them. We truly will share with each other the feeling that fills us, more clearly, as we amplify and raise it more and more above all the events of life and above habit that leaves a bland taste everywhere.
Then regardless of what happens throughout our long lives, we can maintain the fire of love so that it constantly provides us with support, granting us a wonderful and secure feeling at all stages of the way. The authentic Kabbalah teachings shed light on the path to the source of real love, for men and women seeking the kind of love that nourishes the body and soul.
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